Dear Friends,
Tomorrow, I embark on an adventure. My plane leaves at 10:15 A.M., so my traveling experience will begin right away. I will arrive in Ft. Lauderdale and catch a taxi to the Greyhound bus depot and hope that I'm at least an hour early--otherwise I pay a $15 surcharge. I'll get on my bus around five-thirty and begin a five and a half hour trip to Tampa.
Five and a half hours. That's long. But how's this for weird: if I catch a bus two hours earlier, at 3:30, my bus ride is two hours longer. If I catch a bus four hours earlier, my bus ride is four hours longer. And here's the killer: if I caught the 11:30 A.M. bus to Tampa, the bus ride would be eleven and a half hours. So I decided I may as well take the later bus and see if I can find a bank to rob in Ft Lauderdale. Or a piano to play; one of the two.
The HUN ants staged a final performance, by the way. I got wise to their peanut-butter pilfering ways and kept it out of their reach, but it turns out that, lacking peanut-butter, they don't mind saltine crackers. It worked out all right, though; it was one of those boxes with four wrapped stacks of crackers, and one was unopened. So, as a gesture of goodwill, I put the ant-ridden crackers in a container and gave them an alcohol bath. I'm sure the thank you note will be coming in the mail.
Speaking of thank you notes, I need to send (another) one to God. Working through my mother's (non-Christian) step-brother (I think), God gave me a free laptop that is (more than) adequate for my needs. Sorry about the parenthesis... sometimes I get carried away. Moving on.
I have a situation. And it's somewhat... delicate. It's about my roommate in Tampa.
Here name is Leslie. And she's a girl. And if that weren't scary enough... she's female. In my early consideration, I didn't know it was a Leslie (as opposed to a Mike or an Arnold); but when I found out, I didn't mind. Actually, I was pleased. For one, I have five lovely sisters who have blessed me with an intimate understanding of the privileges bestowed upon those who reside with women. For another, her e-mails, which have been both articulate and encouraging, have indicated that she is well-mannered, intelligent, and mature. And (wince) a good cook. There. I said it. My ulterior motive.
Both she and my new landlord, Chris, seem like awesome people. I'm looking forward to getting to know both, and they speak well of the people of Tampa.
Some of which I will meet on Sunday. Leslie, being the well-mannered person that she is, said that, since I didn't know anybody in Tampa, I was welcome to hang out with her family for Easter. Having no better plans, I accepted. And, to be honest, I'm far more nervous about it than I ever was about going to Haiti or moving to Tampa.
Today, you've been given the details of what my next two tomorrows will involve. The second part of this e-mail will offer insights on the process of being mutilated--ahem... I mean, accepted--by a group of people I've never met. Hilarity, ensues, right? I'm breathing a silent prayer as I type.
In about twenty-four hours, I'll be getting into Tampa. If anybody wants to say a prayer for me, I won't hold it against them.
Your sincerely,
Dan the Man
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